Life and Work with Ria Pretekin

Today we’d like to introduce you to Ria Pretekin.

Ria, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I describe myself as an educator, yogi, cupcake lover, and a mom of two. I blog about my multicultural, interfaith family and I started my blog with the birth of my second child. My sister encouraged me to create a blog and told me that she really thought I could do well documenting my motherhood journey. Since I have family all over in California, Ohio, Illinois and the Philippines, I thought it would be a great way for family and friends to read about my family’s adventures and feel connected to us even though we may be miles away. I spent my whole life in Los Angeles but on a whim, I decided to move to Chicago and I’ve been living in Chicago now for 10 years. I initially planned to be here for one to two years but I ended up falling in love with the city. I even convinced my mom, dad, and sister to leave sunny CA to come to move here with me. Fast forward to today and I am a mom of two, recently married, launched my blog UrbanOhana and celebrated my five year anniversary working at the University of Chicago.

Has it been a smooth road?
I am a planner and a perfectionist to a fault so when my life did not follow the plan that I had laid out, I had to learn to adapt and change. I soon discovered that the most wonderful things can happen when I let go of my expectations for the way I thought life should be. When I allowed myself to be flexible and spontaneous, things started to fall in place. I never expected to be divorced and be a single mom. Being Filipina American and Catholic, divorce is considered taboo. However, being a single mom for the first few years of my daughter’s life allowed me to discover who I am, not only as a new mom, but it also allowed me time to redefine my own identity. I leaned heavily on my family and friends for support and could not have raised my daughter without their love and encouragement. My advice to new moms, single or happily married, is to never be too proud to accept help from family and friends. Motherhood is a life-altering journey, you need all the support you can get. Too often, American society expects mothers to have it all together and to figure it all out on your own. There’s this competitive undercurrent in motherhood, that somehow you have to win the mommy game on your own. I say, let go of those norms and expectations and trust what feels right for you. I second guessed myself so often with my first child, wondering if I was doing things right and if I was finding the right balance between work, family, and self-care. This time around, I’m learning not to be so hard on myself and I trust that what I do at work and at home are enough.

So, as you know, we’re impressed with Urban Ohana – tell our readers more, for example, what you’re most proud of as a company and what sets you apart from others.
I work at the Network for College Success (NCS) at the University of Chicago. NCS is a non-profit organization that seeks to transform public high schools into powerful learning communities that are equitable for all students. UChicago is known for data and research but what NCS is also about are equity and social justice. Working at NCS has given me a lot of time to think and reflect on the skin I am in and what it means to be Filipino American. I have encountered micro-aggressions throughout my life being seen as the model minority or being perceived as a perpetual foreigner and I also understand that I have certain privileges in the skin that I am in and from the middle-class upbringing I had. I took a chance when I started my blog, to open myself up and blog about my family. In blogging, I’ve had the opportunity to be vulnerable and write authentically about myself. My identity has evolved now that I am no longer a single mom but happily married with two kids. My interfaith, interracial marriage has forced me to think of ways that I raise my children. It has made me consider my identity as a Filipino American mom, living and working in a context where I’m not in a large Filipino American community. I think about the things I have to consider as I raise my children to help them form their own cultural and religious identity in an interracial, interfaith family in Chicago. I can catch myself when I feel that I have to ascribe to dominant cultural expectations and it is liberating when I can be ok with what I feel is right for me and my family because I have realized there isn’t one way to raise kids. I can be ok with the parenting style that I have learned from my own parents. Whether it’s about sleep, food, discipline, I think that culture plays a large role in how I choose to parent. As a former yoga teacher and school counselor, I am huge on emotional literacy and social-emotional learning. Being empathetic and nurturing are big pieces of my parenting style. I parent with compassion and I hope that I can instill kindness and generosity in both my kids.

Are there any apps, books, podcasts or other resources that you’ve benefited from using?
For work, I am currently reading, “Culturally Responsive Teaching and The Brain: Promoting Authentic Engagement and Rigor Among Culturally and Linguistically Diverse Students” by Zaretta Hammond and I had the opportunity to attend her recent seminar. It has been an eye-opening resource for me, both as an educator and a mother. In fact, the big takeaways I took from the book and the seminar helped my husband and I when making a decision on school choice for our daughter.

My latest leisure reads were “Crazy Rich Asians,” which I can not wait to see in the theatres and Trevor Noah’s “Born a Crime.” Despite everything going digital, I still love paper and reading magazines at home.

What keeps me going are checking out fun new things in the city, whether it’s a new restaurant or a new exhibit at the museum. We can’t wait to check out the new Pixar exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry! We are major Disney lovers in my family. My family loves to explore our city, there’s always something new to do and see. We also love to travel with our kids and see things through their eyes, it’s as if we get to experience something for the first time all over again. It can be tough traveling with kids but my husband and I think it is completely worth it to build memories together whether we are traveling near or far.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.urbanohana.net
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/urbanohana/
• Other: https://www.mommyinlosangeles.com/wowmom/2017/11/20/mom-blogger-monday-ria-pretekin?rq=ria%20pretekin

Image Credit:
Lyndsi Espinel Photography, Letrango, Rachel B Photography

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